What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
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