What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
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