The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
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