What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
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