What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
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