Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
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