Are you still wondering why the basketball player could listen to his music? Don’t you know he broke a record!
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
Why did the ski instructor ask for a divorce?
He found out his wife is a real flake.
Fred is so condescending about my tennis strokes. I can’t take any more of his backhanded compliments.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
Which violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?
Ghoul tending.
Why don't skeletons ski the black diamond runs at Copper Mountain?
They've got soul, but they just don't have the heart for it.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
What does a volleyball player do when they go to prom? They spike the punch.
What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?
Anette.
Longfellow is the known poet of basketball.
Do you believe this? All soccer players, irrespective of their country of origin, have one goal.
Basketball is the only sport where the basket is filled but never gets full.
Why did the guy decide not to donate a dime to any charity raising funds for a marathon?
Because they just take the money and run.
What is a volleyball player’s favorite drink? Sets on the Beach.
Deep sea diving is so dangerous.
I just can’t fathom it.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
How can you tell when a coach doesn’t know what they are doing? When the real coach is yelling from in the stands.
Why was the basketball court so slippery?
Because all the players were dribbling on it.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
I want to play my match outdoors so I can hit the ball higher in the air. I’m not good at persuading people, so I’m going to hire a lob-byist.
What did the skiier say when his standup act was going downhill fast?
There snow possible way these puns could be more painful.
The injured player wanted to congratulate the winner, but he couldn’t walkover to the other side of the court.
If the wooden face mask was popularized by Jacques Plante, was the wooden
cup made popular by Jock Plank?
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Where does a fish keep his money In the River Bank!
My friend Elmer’s has gotten really good at tennis ever since he stuck to a healthier diet and went glue-ten free.
I’m not a bad putter…
I just can’t catch a break.
My favorite sport is bowling cause I always strike out with girls.
What did the magician say to the fisherman?
"Pick a cod, any cod."
Why do volleyball players love to swim? They like diving in the deep and then floating in the shallow.
There is one commonality between a magician and a soccer player. They both do hat tricks.
I hate scuba diving.
It was the lowest moment of my life.
When I got my first job at the bowling alley, I was only tenpin.
Where's the weak spot on a Scottish goalie? The fief hole.
Why is learning to ski in France so difficult?
'Cause sometimes they won't Alp you.
Did you hear about the Owl that could play American football?
It was a superb_owl.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
Why didn’t the golfer get his homework done?
He wouldn’t stop puttering around.
The last thing I can remember was the yellow ball speeding toward me. I swung the racquet, and then things got fuzzy.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
My friend was telling me about how a shark attacked her while she was diving
I told her, that bites.
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