Longfellow is the known poet of basketball.
The game of golf is 90-percent mental…
And 10-percent mental.
What is a volleyball player’s favorite drink? Sets on the Beach.
If ten zombies run after you, what time is it?
Ten after one.
What did the magician say to the fisherman?
"Pick a cod, any cod."
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Why did the blonde volleyball player end up getting fired from her waitressing job? Someone said she needed to serve the food.
What is the difference between Barry Zito and bowling icon Walter Ray Williams, Jr.?
Walter Ray Williams, Jr. knows how to throw a strike.
I feel tail great!
The classiest indoor tennis facilities serve bubble tea.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
Birds too love cheering on their soccer teams. They egg them on.
Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?
They dribble all the time.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Where do ghosts play golf?
On a golf corpse.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
Two tomatoes went jogging. One trips and falls. The other tomato said, "Grab my Heinz and I'll help you up." Trippy tomato replies, "Nah, you go ahead. I'll ketchup."
If the wooden face mask was popularized by Jacques Plante, was the wooden
cup made popular by Jock Plank?
Skier: Doc, I think I'm addicted to skiing at Loveland Ski Are
Shrink: You may be going down a slippery slope. Do you feel a divide?
Soviet goaltenders got their hair cut at Vladislav's Tress-shack.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There was a team member bar tending who could serve spiked drinks.
I want to practice my forehand outside, but it will be wet in the morning and nice later on. So here’s the plan for today: inside-out.
We all sat by the fireplace listening to the basketballer’s story. At some point, I found it unbelievable. It was such a tall tale!
How are waiters and blockers similar? When they do a good job, they get a big fat tip.
Why can't basketball players go on vacation?
They aren't allowed to travel.
What did the football player say to the flight attendant?
"Put me in coach."
What happened to the skier who was injured the the top of the peak?
It's been all downhill from there.
I want to play my match outdoors so I can hit the ball higher in the air. I’m not good at persuading people, so I’m going to hire a lob-byist.
What do you get when you run behind a car?
Exhausted!
Why do golfers hate cake?
Because they might get a slice.
Which is the bar downtown that soccer players hate striking on? Crossbar.
What do runners eat before a big race?
Fast food.
Which rangy centre could cover the whole ice? Jean Umbrelliveau.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
They say that you can spike a volleyball. But you can never take away its dig-nity.
Why should you swim in an ool instead of a pool?
Because there’s no “p” in it!
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
If Messier retires he's sure to be moosed.
Did you hear the terrible rumor about the volleyball player? That’s what she set!
Why do you need six players to carry the volleyball to the game? No one can carry the volleyball and a whole team.
Is it ad-out again? I’m going to hit my breaking point.
Why are fisherman so stingy?
Their jobs make them sel-fish!
What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?
SlamDrunk!
I know my shot was in. But I won’t argue, because I’m not up for the challenge.
Get in the swim this summer.
What is a golfer’s worst nightmare?
The Bogeyman.
What is a golfer’s favorite bird?
Any birdie will do.
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