What do the guys at the ski repair shop eat their lunch on?
Baseplates.
The only difference between time and a ball hog is that the former passes.
Why shouldn't you hire a volleyball player to be your bartender?
The service may be excellent, but he'll try to spike all the drinks.
Why couldn't the garden gnome run in the marathon?
Because he's not part of the human race!
Is your eyesight as bad as your cell phone reception? Because that was a terrible call.
Are you still wondering why the basketball player could listen to his music? Don’t you know he broke a record!
The refs kept calling interference, even though goalmouth incidents were in
de-crease.
Why do volleyball players join the military? They want to gain extra experience in the service.
What did the bowling pins do?
They went on strike.
What is a golfer’s worst nightmare?
The Bogeyman.
Why did the other volleyball team bow? Because they heard that the queens of the court were there.
The target in soccer is to kick it where it counts.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Golfer: I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
Caddie: Try heaven. You’ve already moved most of the earth.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
The crowd had filled up the venue and everyone was waiting for the bowling alley to open. Finally, they got the ball rolling.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
Ed Belfour's new contract offer isn't high compared to other goal tenders.
Which Finn is like a hotdog on the ice? Teemu Salami.
Which cool rapper recreates at Aspen Snomass?
Ice Ski.
Why did the blonde skier only wear one boot?
Channel 7's weatherman said there was a 50% chance of snow.
Have you ever played quiet tennis?
It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
Did you hear about the rundown swimming pool?
It was a real dive!
What do volleyball players do when they go to church? Serve God.
Did you hear about the volleyball players who are getting married? They say it was love at first spike.
The only time a basketball team can chase a baseball team is five after nine.
I had a girlfriend that went scuba diving...
One day I lobster and never flounder again.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
When the defender was put in the box for spearing Jaromir Jagr, he
complained "but it was only a poke-Czech!"
What happens if the Grim Reaper spikes the ball? You have to dig your own grave.
Did you hear the terrible rumor about the volleyball player? That’s what she set!
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Join us for plenty of play action.
What do skiers order at fast food restaurants?
Icebergers with Chilly Sauce, on the slide.
I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
My friend Elmer’s has gotten really good at tennis ever since he stuck to a healthier diet and went glue-ten free.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Why are nuns such great sprint runners?
'Cause they're used to being chaste.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
What is the worst advice a coach could ever give to a nude volleyball team? Play hard.
What is the first time that a volleyball match was talked about in the Bible? When Joseph served in the Pharaoh’s court.
When she saw all the madness around her, March said, “what’s all that bracket”.
The dog didn’t want to play soccer because it was a boxer.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
Soviet goaltenders got their hair cut at Vladislav's Tress-shack.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
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