What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
Finally, the soccer ball decided to quit the team. The reason behind its move was that it was tied of being kicked around.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
I hate scuba diving.
It was the lowest moment of my life.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?
He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt
Which hulking left-winger could body-slam The Giant? Dave Andre-chuck.
Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon!
Why do hitters find it so hard to be productive when they are indoors? They always work on an angle to play outside.
We’ll have a splash-tastic time.
If Messier retires he's sure to be moosed.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
All punts are highly intended
It is not really much about how you bowl, but instead how you roll.
Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut!
Get in the swim this summer.
What do runners do when they forget something?
They jog their memory!
What did the football player say to the flight attendant?
"Put me in coach."
Jack has a large neck so he decided to wear a bowtie to his wedding. Otherwise, he’d end up with a tiebreak.
We all sat by the fireplace listening to the basketballer’s story. At some point, I found it unbelievable. It was such a tall tale!
Which trophy has the most glitz? The Lady Bling.
Football is one habit I will never kick
A guy walks into the bar.
It's hardly surprising he didn't make the steeplechase team, on reflection.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
If you golf on election day…
Be sure to cast an absent-tee ballot.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
Where do Danish players aim with the puck? Top kroner.
What do you say when your dad wears a speedo to the pool?
Spee-don’t!
I wish they’d change the scoring system, but tennis is set in its ways and doesn’t see the point.
Which basketball team is the favorite at the North Pole?
The New York Old Saint Knicks.
Before they go out to a basketball game, all cheerleaders down several bottles of root beer.
If you doubt whether bowling is a sport, get it from me, that yes, it is a sport, but for people who have talent to spare.
I went to my girlfriend's soccer match for the first time last weekend. She kept grabbing the ball with her hands.
She's a keeper.
Why do you need six players to carry the volleyball to the game? No one can carry the volleyball and a whole team.
It is ridiculous having a basketball team that lacks a website. Do you mean none of them can string three W’s together?
You cannot strike it, if you don’t try it.
The classiest indoor tennis facilities serve bubble tea.
I like my matches like my tennis balls: Pressureless.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
The success in this sport is not how you bowl, but how you roll.
The judge sentenced the basketball player to life imprisonment because he shot the ball.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
Golf is a lot like taxes:
You go for the green and wind up in the hole.
Which legend lived in a shack? Was it Eddy? No, Ma-hovel-ich!
If ten zombies run after you, what time is it?
Ten after one.
Do you know the easiest way to stop squirrels from playing soccer in your garden is to hide the ball? Well, it drives them nuts.
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