What did the swimming pool say to the skimmer?
Leaf me alone!
The perfect name for a pig that plays basketball is a ball hog.
Why are Scandinavians the fastest runners in the world?
Because they start out near the Finnish line.
Water you doing on [date]?
I used to make extra money by selling illegal tennis equipment on the side, but I was approached by some thugs who told me to stop.
I guess they control the Tennis Racket around here.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
The success in this sport is not how you bowl, but how you roll.
A certain Leafs right-winger was sued by the Louisiana government. He was
Owen N'awlins.
Jack has a large neck so he decided to wear a bowtie to his wedding. Otherwise, he’d end up with a tiebreak.
A guy walks into the bar.
It's hardly surprising he didn't make the steeplechase team, on reflection.
The basketball player sat on the sideline and began sketching pictures of chickens. He was learning how to draw fowls.
Djokovic to his friends the morning after winning the U.S. Open: Is anyone hungry for some Denny’s? Because I would like another Grand Slam.
Why do the blondes prefer to have se* instead of bowling?
The balls are lighter, and you don't have to change shoes.
What did they give former Flyers left-winger Brian when he successfully
bulked up? Massive Propps.
I can’t believe I framed the ball in for a winner. Shank you!
I like my matches like my tennis balls: Pressureless.
What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?
COOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It is now a universal truth that actions speak louder than coaches.
I like my breakfast like my tennis grip: Continental.
What is a golfer’s favorite dance move?
The Bogey.
Two racquets started dating. Unfortunately, one was stringing the other along without any intention of tying the knot.
How are waiters and blockers similar? When they do a good job, they get a big fat tip.
Setters do it better. This sounds like a good motto to put on a T-shirt.
Why should you swim in an ool instead of a pool?
Because there’s no “p” in it!
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Did you know that old bowlers do not die? They simply end up in gutters.
What do you call a guy who can't stop running along the beach?
Joggernaut.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
What do a rabid rabbit and a basketball player have in common?
Mad hops.
When the going gets tough, let the pins fall where they may.
Why can't you tell a joke while ice fishing? Because it'll crack you up!.
What do runners eat before a big race?
Fast food.
When she saw all the madness around her, March said, “what’s all that bracket”.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
What is the difference between Barry Zito and bowling icon Walter Ray Williams, Jr.?
Walter Ray Williams, Jr. knows how to throw a strike.
In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. His name is Muhammad Alley.
Do you always play this badly at the net? Because I don’t like your approach.
Why shouldn't you hire a volleyball player to be your bartender?
The service may be excellent, but he'll try to spike all the drinks.
My strategy is simple, knocking them down a pin at a time.
Wife: I’m sick and tired of your obsession with golf!
Husband: Why, is it driving a wedge between us?
Finally, the soccer ball decided to quit the team. The reason behind its move was that it was tied of being kicked around.
Basketball is the only sport where the basket is filled but never gets full.
Basketball players manage to remain cool even during tough matches because they stay closer to the fans.
What do you call a free treadmill?
The Great Outdoors.
Why was the basketball court so slippery?
Because all the players were dribbling on it.
Why didn’t the golfer get his homework done?
He wouldn’t stop puttering around.
During holidays, soccer referees send their families yellow cards.
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