The best holiday for you to go bowling is thanksgiving because you will get turkeys.
Why can't Bill Clinton go scuba diving?
He won't inhale.
When the going gets tough, let the pins fall where they may.
I like my matches like my tennis balls: Pressureless.
A certain Leafs right-winger was sued by the Louisiana government. He was
Owen N'awlins.
What does a volleyball player do when they go to prom? They spike the punch.
Which legend lived in a shack? Was it Eddy? No, Ma-hovel-ich!
The main difference between a dog and a basketball player is that one dribbles while the other one drools.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
It is ridiculous having a basketball team that lacks a website. Do you mean none of them can string three W’s together?
Which cool rapper recreates at Aspen Snomass?
Ice Ski.
How do ski instructors get to work?
By icicle.
Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course?
He was perfecting his swing
I got so mad at my partner hitting moonballs, I had to pusher off the court.
Two racquets started dating. Unfortunately, one was stringing the other along without any intention of tying the knot.
The Montreal baseball team relocated to Tampa after being purchased by the
Exposito bros.
What does a bowler and a Thanksgiving guest have in common?
They both want a Turkey.
The bowling solder decided to launch a pre-emptive strike.
Why do you need six players to carry the volleyball to the game? No one can carry the volleyball and a whole team.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
The coddled superstar sat in the seats with the fans instead of on the bench
with the team; for this, ironically enough, he was accused of grandstanding!
When you go with an army general onto a bowling alley, he will start bowling even before you enter his name on the scoreboard.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
We’re trying to pool off the party of the summer.
My life-long rival just beat my record for deep-sea diving.
This is a new low.
There is no glory in practice, but without practice there can be no glory. This volleyball pun is very inspirational. For you to do your best, you have to be willing to practice.
If you doubt whether bowling is a sport, get it from me, that yes, it is a sport, but for people who have talent to spare.
Why wasn’t the little pumpkin allowed to swim?
There was no life gourd on duty!
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
Pick-up line: You might as well play be a tennis player, because I’m about to court you girl.
What might folks in Tokyo find between Godzilla's toes?
Slow runners.
I started watching soccer because I could see it’s very relevant to my life.
Little to no goals.
After the guy broke his arm skiing, he realized it was all downhill from there.
When the pitch is flooded, soccer players can still go on. They just need to bring on their subs.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
Do you know the easiest way to stop squirrels from playing soccer in your garden is to hide the ball? Well, it drives them nuts.
Join us for plenty of play action.
Where is a basketball player's favorite place to eat?
Dunkin' Donuts
Why do benched players always seem to look so wise? They don’t have to look like fools on the floor and entertain the crowds.
The guy missed both his serves on match point. I won by de-fault.
Why did the college football team stop smoking
They lost all their matches.
Football pitches are almost always so wet. This is because soccer players dribble a lot.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
What time should I book the court? Let’s shoot for around tennish.
Basketball players are not that patient to follow-through an elaborate court-ship procedure.
Djokovic to his friends the morning after winning the U.S. Open: Is anyone hungry for some Denny’s? Because I would like another Grand Slam.
What’s the easiest shot in golf?
Your fourth putt.
When your putt lips out, what disease do you have?
Liprocy.
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