I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
The favorite soccer position for ghosts is the ghoul keeper.
They say I’m too indecisive to be a tennis umpire
but I still haven’t ruled it out.
Their soccer team and the US navy had one thing in common, they both spent over $50 million on a sub.
How are snow boards and vacuum cleaners alike?
Both have dirt bags on board.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
We’re calling your number.
I applied for a job as an Instructor at a Scuba Diving center. The interviewer wanted to know if I can work well under pressure.
What is a golfer’s favorite dance move?
The Bogey.
Which violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?
Ghoul tending.
What’s the easiest shot in golf?
Your fourth putt.
Guy: Have you ever been fishing before? Girl: Why? Boy: I think we should hook up!
Where do players hide their marijuana?
Between the stash marks.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
What do you call a guy who can't stop running along the beach?
Joggernaut.
Why should you not play volleyball in court? Because you could get arrested.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
Why did they arrest the volleyball player? They suspected foul play.
My favorite sport is bowling cause I always strike out with girls.
What did the player on the Bumblebee basketball team say after making a foul shot?
Hive Scored!
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
How did the swim team manage to pay for new pool renovations?
They pool-ed their resources!
What do volleyball players watch during their free time? They watch Spike TV.
When the pitch is flooded, soccer players can still go on. They just need to bring on their subs.
Why did the volleyball players like to practice in the library? Their coach said that they’d be doing some reading today.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
What did the skiier say when his standup act was going downhill fast?
There snow possible way these puns could be more painful.
Seven days without playing soccer can make one weak.
The walls in this tennis factory are so thin, that when I try to get some work done, all I hear is people making a racquet.
The best place on earth to shop for soccer kits is New Jersey.
There is one commonality between a magician and a soccer player. They both do hat tricks.
Why can't you tell a joke while ice fishing? Because it'll crack you up!.
Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course?
He was perfecting his swing
In a conversation between one pin and another, one said, “Let us never split.”
Why did the fish cross the road? Cause it was hooked!
What do frogs do when they ski?
They rip it.
Why wasn’t the little pumpkin allowed to swim?
There was no life gourd on duty!
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
Why do stoner tourists spend so much money while on a skiing holiday at Aspen?
Because they're high rollers!
When the going gets tough, let the pins fall where they may.
Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night?
Clubbing.
You cannot strike it, if you don’t try it.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, was it Red Bull that gave you wings, or are you just an angel?
Do you know how to dunk cookies? Ask a basketball chef.
Why did the volleyball player not want to travel? Because he had been there and dug that.
Where's the weak spot on a Scottish goalie? The fief hole.
What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?
COOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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