How do snowboarders introduce themselves when they meet somebody on the slopes?
Sorry Dude.
How are snow boards and vacuum cleaners alike?
Both have dirt bags on board.
What do you get if you cross a ski instructor and a vampire?
Frostbite.
Why do stoner tourists spend so much money while on a skiing holiday at Aspen?
Because they're high rollers!
Why did the ski instructor ask for a divorce?
He found out his wife is a real flake.
What happened when an icicle landed on the skier's head?
It knocked him out cold!
Why did the skier from Helsinki dominate the downhill slalom competition?
He led the race from start to Finnish.
Skier in ER: Doc, I slipped on my way to the chairlift.
Doctor: Icy.
After the guy broke his arm skiing, he realized it was all downhill from there.
How did the blind guy from Denver enjoy a bit of apres skiing on Lookout Mountain during the last white-out?
He brought along his skiing-eye dog.
What do skiers order at fast food restaurants?
Icebergers with Chilly Sauce, on the slide.
What do you call heels on ski boots?
Ski lifts.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, know what I have in common with this new powder? 8 inches.
How many Winter Park ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in, and two to say, "Nice Turns, Nice Turns!"
Why did the ski instructor's love life always go downhill? The first thing the ladies noticed about him was his giant slalom.
Why should somebody who's just out of rehab think twice before going on a skiing holiday?
Because it's a slippery slope.
What do frogs do when they ski?
They rip it.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, I bet this chair lift weighs enough to break the ice.
Why did the blonde skier cut a hole near the top of her boyfriend's ski parka?
She wanted to give him the cold shoulder.
What do the guys at the ski repair shop eat their lunch on?
Baseplates.
What happened to the skier who was injured the the top of the peak?
It's been all downhill from there.
Where do ski instructors keep their money?
In the local snow bank.
What did the skiier say when his standup act was going downhill fast?
There snow possible way these puns could be more painful.
What do skiers get if they sit in the snow for too long?
Polaroids!
Cold Ski Pun of the Day: I'm tired of slalom skiing. Alpine over another telemark now.
Chairlift Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, is it really windy up here, or are you just blowing me away?
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, was it Red Bull that gave you wings, or are you just an angel?
Why don't skeletons ski the black diamond runs at Copper Mountain?
They've got soul, but they just don't have the heart for it.
How do ski instructors get to work?
By icicle.
Skier: Doc, I think I'm addicted to skiing at Loveland Ski Are
Shrink: You may be going down a slippery slope. Do you feel a divide?
What is a cyclops' favorite winter activity?
Sking. That's like skiing, but only with one eye.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, want me to jump off this chairlift for you? 'Cause I think I could fall for you.
Which cool rapper recreates at Aspen Snomass?
Ice Ski.
Why is learning to ski in France so difficult?
'Cause sometimes they won't Alp you.
Why did the hotdogger quit skiing at MaryJane?
Because it was the wurst stunt skier at Winter Park Resort.
What game do some skiers like to play on the road trip to the slopes?
Ice Spy With My Little Ice.
What do you call a very slow skier?
A slope-poke.
Why was the Copper Mountain skier taken to the emergency room?
He hurt his ski bum.
What does the ski bum do when the chairlift line is too long?
He's gondola top of the mountain.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I go around this chairlift again?
Why did the blonde skier only wear one boot?
Channel 7's weatherman said there was a 50% chance of snow.
What do apres-ski participants in white-out blizzard conditions eat for lunch?
Icebergers. BRR!
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