What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
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