They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
What do you call a fairy that doesn’t like to shower?
Stinkerbell.
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
I swear I saw one of those mythical creatures somewhere in the bush; but when I came back, it was uni-gone.
Even as unicorn parents, you always want to control the internet unless you want your foals checking
out uniporn all day.
Why are unicorns considered to be among the most impatient mammals? They’re quick to get to the point.
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
Most unicorns start off as poor hunters until they can really horn their skills.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
Did you hear about the forgetful unicorn mom? She kept feeding her kids milk of amnesia.
A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.
He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.
What's a dragon's favorite snack?
Fire Crackers!
What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
Swiss charred.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
Why does the little mermaid wear sea shells?
Cause B-shells are too small, and D- shells are too big.
What do you call Dragon with no silver?
A dron.
---
You think dinosaurs are scary?
Imagine dragons!
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
What do you call a philosophical fairy?
Thinker-bell.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
Why did the confused gnome decide to see a shrink?
Because he had low elf-esteem.
What do you call a connection between two points in space-time through which only dragons can pass?
A wyrmhole.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
What did the Little Mermaid say to Triton before she left?
- If you need me, call me on my shell.
Seas the day!
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
Where did Santa's little helpers go to high school?
They didn't, they were gnome-schooled.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
What is the little mermaid’s favorite font?
Arial.
What does a mermaid say when she was leaving the party?
- Sea ya later.
Why do gnomes make such great secretaries?
Because they’re good at shorthand.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
Long time no sea.
Shell-abrate the good times!
Why do dwarves hunt dragons in the morning?
Because the early beard gets the wyrm.
How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?
They're always searching for the tooth.
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
I’ve heard of fraudsters before, but that was one heck of a unique-con if I ever saw one.
Go to BabaMail
