What do you call the dandruff found on unicorn manes? Horn flakes.
A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.
He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.
What did Peter Pan call Tinkerbell when she corrected his spelling?
A Diction Fairy.
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?
The money that you have to pay for therapy.
What do they call the fairy in the Mexican version of Peter Pan?
Taco Bell.
I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.
They’re all so pixielated.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
I'm a fairy.
My name's Nuff. Fair enough.
Seas the day!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.
I think you're mer-mazing.
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
The ocean doesn't like to say hello, it just waves.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
Why don’t fairies live under toadstools?
Because there’s not mushroom in the enchanted forest.
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well...
I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this.
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
Would you call a guy who’s eating corn while riding a unicycle a unicorn on the cob?
Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
There was an exotic pet race to take place.
Adam brought an iguana. "Hes big and fast so hes sure to win!"
Daniel brought a komodo dragon. "He can go really fast when theres a treat for him at the end!"
John brought a leopard gecko. "Hes small but does his best!"
The bets were placed, the race took place and Johns leopard gecko won. When asked after the race how they felt his competitors had only one thing to say:
"Sure no surprises there. We knew he was going to win from the gecko."
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
What do you call a sarcastic mermaid?
A sigh-ren.
Most unicorns start off as poor hunters until they can really horn their skills.
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
Who granted the fish a wish?
The fairy codmother.
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