When it comes to mermaids growing legs, it's all in the de-tail.
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
Why don’t fairies live under toadstools?
Because there’s not mushroom in the enchanted forest.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
What’s the best way to catch unicorns? Simple, by herding them all to one corner.
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
Why would a judge make a good tooth fairy?
Because they want the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.
I think you're mer-mazing.
Mermaids can be quite mean. Salmon had to say it.
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
I swear I saw one of those mythical creatures somewhere in the bush; but when I came back, it was uni-gone.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights.
Don't fork-get your manners.
What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?
The money that you have to pay for therapy.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
Why does the fairy kingdom smell so awful?
Because of all the toad stools.
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
Why did the confused gnome decide to see a shrink?
Because he had low elf-esteem.
Ariel spent the weekend alone because she was feeling a little crabby.
What do you call a 2D fairy?
Pixie-lated.
You really mermaid my day.
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
They aren’t gnome for their humor.
How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?
They're always searching for the tooth.
I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.
They’re all so pixielated.
I designed a dungeons and dragons weapon for wizards. It's a magical melee weapon shaped like a tome that uses intellect for damage instead of strength.
I call it "Book Club"
Why are dragons such good story tellers?
Because they have long tails.
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
What do you call an extremely disgusting unicorn that no one likes? An eeeww-nicorn.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
Did you hear about the forgetful unicorn mom? She kept feeding her kids milk of amnesia.
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
Most unicorns start off as poor hunters until they can really horn their skills.
One mermaid said to the other, "I love your shell bracelet, can I Triton?"
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
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