Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"