Don't fork-get your manners.
What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
Swiss charred.
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
it was my pet dragon's birthday today
We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
Did you hear about the misbehaving unicorn? Sure, but I never though that these creatures could get so horny.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
You really mermaid my day.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.
He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here?
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
What do you call the dandruff found on unicorn manes? Horn flakes.
Most unicorns start off as poor hunters until they can really horn their skills.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
Fairies just spell trouble.
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
What do pixies use to clean their teeth?
Fairy floss.
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
A fairy appears in front of an old man.
"For the good things you've done in your life, I grant you three wishes!"
The old man squints and asks: "Can you speak up a bit? My hearing isn't the best anymore..."
The fairy replies: "SURE! YOU HAVE TWO WISHES!"
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
They aren’t gnome for their humor.
What does a mermaid say when she was leaving the party?
- Sea ya later.
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
Why did the Dragon Cross the Road?
He wanted to eat some chicken.
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
What do they call the fairy in the Mexican version of Peter Pan?
Taco Bell.
Shell-abrate the good times!
The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake!
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
What did Peter Pan call Tinkerbell when she corrected his spelling?
A Diction Fairy.
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
Mermaids always drink mermosas.
Too bad, if only I’d gnome!
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
Mermaids can be quite mean. Salmon had to say it.
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
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