Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
When the chef asked which ingredients were missing in the signature dish, someone said quickly, ‘u-need-corn’.
What did the fairy say to the other fairy?
It’s fairy nice to meet you!
After a long day at work, I feel like half a mythical creature...
Because I'm Dragon Ass.
Why do interns make the best Dungeons and Dragons players?
They do it for the Experience.
I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.
They’re all so pixielated.
Just because your football team calls itself the unicorns doesn’t mean they can play in the corn field.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
No one could tame the unicorn. He was horn to be wild.
Why did the Dragon Cross the Road?
He wanted to eat some chicken.
Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here?
A fairy appears in front of an old man.
"For the good things you've done in your life, I grant you three wishes!"
The old man squints and asks: "Can you speak up a bit? My hearing isn't the best anymore..."
The fairy replies: "SURE! YOU HAVE TWO WISHES!"
What do you call a sarcastic mermaid?
A sigh-ren.
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.
Even as unicorn parents, you always want to control the internet unless you want your foals checking
out uniporn all day.
Why do gnomes make such great secretaries?
Because they’re good at shorthand.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.
He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
Seas the day!
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
Who granted the fish a wish?
The fairy codmother.
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
I have a bone to pixie with you.
For years I told my daughter she was half-human and half-mermaid... but that her bottom half was human, and her top half was mermaid.
Did you hear about the forgetful unicorn mom? She kept feeding her kids milk of amnesia.
How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?
They're always searching for the tooth.
The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.
The Little Mermaid shouldn’t be named Ariel
She should be named Nautical!
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
You really mermaid my day.
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
Why are gnomes friends with dolls?
They like to share clothes.
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
Did you hear about the gnome cop?
He works in lawn enforcement.
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
Did you hear about the misbehaving unicorn? Sure, but I never though that these creatures could get so horny.
What do spiritual gnomes say when doing yoga? Gnom-aste.
What do gnomes love to sing while gardening?
Gnome Worry, Bee Happy.
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
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