What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
Who granted the fish a wish?
The fairy codmother.
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
Why is the tooth fairy so smart?
Because she has wisdom teeth!
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
A man meets a fairy.
"I grant you 2 wishes" , says the fairy.
"I want a bottle of beer that never gets empty" , says the man.
He starts to drink. After two minutes he stops drinking and the bottle is still full.
"And youre second wish?" the fairy asks.
"Another one of those."
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
What do you call a Mexican unicorn? Junicorn.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
When the little unicorn got bullied at school, he told his pop-corn so he could do something about it.
I’ve heard of fraudsters before, but that was one heck of a unique-con if I ever saw one.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
What do you call a philosophical fairy?
Thinker-bell.
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
What do you call an extremely disgusting unicorn that no one likes? An eeeww-nicorn.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
What is the mermaid’s favorite drink?
A mertini.
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
When it comes to mermaids growing legs, it's all in the de-tail.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What did the fairy say to the other fairy?
It’s fairy nice to meet you!
What do you call the dandruff found on unicorn manes? Horn flakes.
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
You are shrimply the best!
it was my pet dragon's birthday today
We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.
What did the Little Mermaid say to Triton before she left?
- If you need me, call me on my shell.
Why don’t fairies live under toadstools?
Because there’s not mushroom in the enchanted forest.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
Fairies just spell trouble.
You really mermaid my day.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
Why won’t you ever find a unicorn in the army? Because they don’t like wearing uniforms.
What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
Swiss charred.
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
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