Why do interns make the best Dungeons and Dragons players?
They do it for the Experience.
What do you call a small scoop of ice-cream? A uni-cone.
I have a bone to pixie with you.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
What does a mermaid say when she was leaving the party?
- Sea ya later.
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
Why did the pre-pubescent dragon lose the rap battle?
He couldn't spit hot fire yet.
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
A fairy appears in front of an old man.
"For the good things you've done in your life, I grant you three wishes!"
The old man squints and asks: "Can you speak up a bit? My hearing isn't the best anymore..."
The fairy replies: "SURE! YOU HAVE TWO WISHES!"
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
When it comes to mermaids growing legs, it's all in the de-tail.
Even as unicorn parents, you always want to control the internet unless you want your foals checking
out uniporn all day.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
One mermaid said to the other, "I love your shell bracelet, can I Triton?"
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
What's a dragon's favorite snack?
Fire Crackers!
Famous mermaid saying: Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.
What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
Swiss charred.
Did you hear about the misbehaving unicorn? Sure, but I never though that these creatures could get so horny.
You mermaid to go far.
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
What do you call a fairy that doesn’t like to shower?
Stinkerbell.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well...
I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this.
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
Wish upon a starfish.
Just because your football team calls itself the unicorns doesn’t mean they can play in the corn field.
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
You really mermaid my day.
Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here?
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
Too bad, if only I’d gnome!
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
What did the fairy say to the other fairy?
It’s fairy nice to meet you!
A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.
He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
What do gnomes love to sing while gardening?
Gnome Worry, Bee Happy.
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
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