Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
Did you hear about the forgetful unicorn mom? She kept feeding her kids milk of amnesia.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
Swiss charred.
Unicorns deserve to be banned from facebook because all they do is poke people all day.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
What do pixies use to clean their teeth?
Fairy floss.
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
What did the Little Mermaid say to Triton before she left?
- If you need me, call me on my shell.
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
Why can't mermaids use the letters A or B?
They only know what's below C level.
Fairies just wand to have fun.
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
Sprite.
What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?
The money that you have to pay for therapy.
Did you hear about the misbehaving unicorn? Sure, but I never though that these creatures could get so horny.
Would you call a guy who’s eating corn while riding a unicycle a unicorn on the cob?
"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.
Have you seen Jake’s new custom trumpet? Yeah, that’s quite a unique horn, I’d know it anywhere.
Why does the little mermaid wear sea shells?
Cause B-shells are too small, and D- shells are too big.
A dragon would never explode
But a dino might.
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
Let’s kick off shall we? I just hope that my unicorn puns won’t be too corny for you.
If an adult is called a unicorn, are its young one’s called puny-corns?
Why won’t you ever find a unicorn in the army? Because they don’t like wearing uniforms.
I love you so fairy much.
When the little unicorn got bullied at school, he told his pop-corn so he could do something about it.
You really mermaid my day.
When my daughter said she saw some chubby unicorns at the zoo, I couldn’t believe it. But it turns out it was just rhinos.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.
You seem a little mer-mad.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights.
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
Did you hear about the misguided unicorn lumberjack who was killing humans? He believed he was doing random axe of kindness.
What do you call a small scoop of ice-cream? A uni-cone.
What is the little mermaid’s favorite font?
Arial.
What do you call a fairy that doesn’t like to shower?
Stinkerbell.
What's a dragon's favorite snack?
Fire Crackers!
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
There was an exotic pet race to take place.
Adam brought an iguana. "Hes big and fast so hes sure to win!"
Daniel brought a komodo dragon. "He can go really fast when theres a treat for him at the end!"
John brought a leopard gecko. "Hes small but does his best!"
The bets were placed, the race took place and Johns leopard gecko won. When asked after the race how they felt his competitors had only one thing to say:
"Sure no surprises there. We knew he was going to win from the gecko."
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
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