I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.
They’re all so pixielated.
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
You mermaid to go far.
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
Did you know that unicorns live in New York City? I swear why do you think their called uNYCorns?
When the unicorn lost his job, there was nothing funny about being canned corn anymore.
Just because your football team calls itself the unicorns doesn’t mean they can play in the corn field.
What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?
The money that you have to pay for therapy.
Why are dragons such good story tellers?
Because they have long tails.
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
Did you hear the one about the genius unicorn who aced every subject? Yeah, he was a real A corn.
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
I’ve heard of fraudsters before, but that was one heck of a unique-con if I ever saw one.
When the chef asked which ingredients were missing in the signature dish, someone said quickly, ‘u-need-corn’.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?
They're always searching for the tooth.
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
What's the difference between a person that just won the lottery and a fairy in salt water?
One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
Why did the Dragon Cross the Road?
He wanted to eat some chicken.
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
Why are unicorns considered to be among the most impatient mammals? They’re quick to get to the point.
I was reading a story about dragons the other day
It just seemed to DRAG ON and on.
What do pixies use to clean their teeth?
Fairy floss.
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?
It'll melt your heart.
What is the little mermaid’s favorite font?
Arial.
Call me on the shellphone.
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here?
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
What do spiritual gnomes say when doing yoga? Gnom-aste.
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.
Shes a fairy realistic person.
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
Did you hear about the monk who was caught molesting kids? Yeah, bastard was telling the poor kids to touch his eunuch-horn.
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
Where do criminal unicorns sentenced to death go? They go on corn row.
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
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