When the chef asked which ingredients were missing in the signature dish, someone said quickly, ‘u-need-corn’.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
Why do interns make the best Dungeons and Dragons players?
They do it for the Experience.
Even as unicorn parents, you always want to control the internet unless you want your foals checking
out uniporn all day.
Why was the gnome just standing over his lawnmower and crying?
Because he hit a rough patch.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
What do you call the Tooth Fairy in a lamp?
A Hygenie.
When the unicorn lost his job, there was nothing funny about being canned corn anymore.
What did Peter Pan call Tinkerbell when she corrected his spelling?
A Diction Fairy.
I think you're mer-mazing.
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
What do you call a small scoop of ice-cream? A uni-cone.
Let’s kick off shall we? I just hope that my unicorn puns won’t be too corny for you.
If an adult is called a unicorn, are its young one’s called puny-corns?
Famous mermaid saying: Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
What do you call a philosophical fairy?
Thinker-bell.
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?
They're always searching for the tooth.
What did the fairy say to the other fairy?
It’s fairy nice to meet you!
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
What does a mermaid say when she was leaving the party?
- Sea ya later.
Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here?
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
What do they call the fairy in the Mexican version of Peter Pan?
Taco Bell.
Call me on the shellphone.
Why would a judge make a good tooth fairy?
Because they want the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
Unicorns deserve to be banned from facebook because all they do is poke people all day.
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
Why did the confused gnome decide to see a shrink?
Because he had low elf-esteem.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
Did you hear about the forgetful unicorn mom? She kept feeding her kids milk of amnesia.
You mermake me happy.
You'd think seeing a mermaid in real life would be terrifying, but it wasn't half as bad.
What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
Sprite.
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
Did you hear about the monk who was caught molesting kids? Yeah, bastard was telling the poor kids to touch his eunuch-horn.
Don't fork-get your manners.
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