Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
Go to BabaMail
