So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.
I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.
How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
How many software engineers do you need to change a light bulb?
None – it’s a hardware problem.
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
My friend pointed at a chandelier and said: "isn't that the coolest chandelier ever?"
I replied: "I don't know if it's the coolest, but it's up there."
Why can’t dishwashers do parallel dancing?
They’re never in sink.
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
Why do Russian teapots have to go to bed early?
Because samovars have to work tomorrow.
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker
Would it leave a brews?
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
Why did the electrical cords break up?
There was no spark between them.
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry.
I said, "that's a sockrifice I had to make".
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
Where do light bulbs go shopping? The outlet stores.”
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!”
My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting
I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?
His buns were toasted.
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
I bought a new heater for my wife.
She didn't like it first, but now I think she's warmed up to it.
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
I think my window air conditioner needs an ambulance.
It keeps hyperventilating.
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.