Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
Go to BabaMail
