On reflection, vampires aren't actually that scary.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
What do you call a hairy monster that lives by a dam?
A weir-wolf.
Witches get so excited to decorate their cauldron because their favorite hobby is witchcraft.
When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
Why do Minotaurs make terrible detectives?
Because they hate to go on steak-outs!
Vampires are too easy to play jokes on. Suckers.
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola
The vampires were in a mood, so I thought I'd do something to cheer them up. They were over the moon that I re-vamped their castle.
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
Vampires love corny jokes and puns. I don't think they're funny, but it's probably to do with them being pun-dead.
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale? He’s a bargain haunter.
What sound does it make when an ogre eats a witch for breakfast?
Snap cackle n' pop
Why couldn't the little witch read her spellbook?
It was written in curse-ive.
Who put the Howl in Halloween?
Not ghouls just the people they ate!
Why did the werewolf need to talk with the skeleton?
He had a bone to pick with him.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
What’s a werewolve's favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas!
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
Why are werewolves better than vampires?
Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
What sound do you hear when a Ghost explodes? kaBOOm!
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
Why was the werewolf arrested at the butchers shop?
He was caught chop lifting.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
What is a ghoul’s favorite snack food?
Ghoul scout cookies!
How did the skeletons make s’mores when they went camping?
They made them on the bone-fire.
The best place to search for information about witches is wicca-pedia.
Two ghosts were at a disco. One was having a fa-boo-lous time and the other wanted to boo-gie all night long!
How do you get rid of a witch’s hex?
Draw a hex-a-gone.
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a hyena?
A monster with a sense of humor.
What do you call a skeleton who hangs out in coffee shops and listens to indie music?
A hip-ster.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
What do you do with a green ghoul?
Wait until it ripens!
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
Did you hear about the vampire who tortured his victims with music?
His Bach was worse than his bite.
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.
Did you hear about the witch who got plastic surgery?
She looked really good afterworts.
Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.
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