Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?
He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
Why don’t werewolf make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
Why did the mummy get a divorce?
His wife was a ghoul-digger who was just after his mummy.
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
What sign was posted in the witches' parking lot?
Violators will be toad.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
How does Bigfoot clear his sinuses?
With a yeti pot.
Dracula really doesn't have any other vampire friends. It's because he's a total pain in the neck.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
What do you call a witch that lives in the desert?
A sand-witch.
Why are Ghosts so lonely? They have nobody to lean on.
There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.
Pan wants to lead his kind to rebellion, but...
He can't get no Satyr Faction.
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?
- Bone Appetit!
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
What was it like to fight Medusa?
- At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
What is a witch's favorite makeup?
A ma-scare-a.
How did Poseidon greet the sea monster?
- Hey buddy, what's kraken?
What do they call Bigfoot in Europe?
Bigmeter.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
What does a monster wear when it rains?
His ghoul-oshes!
What happens to witches who break the school rules?
They get ex-spelled.
What is the fear of giants called?
Fee-fi-phobia
What type of candy sent the skeleton to the hospital?
Jawbreakers.
What did the grandfather ghoul say to his grandson?
You gruesome!
What did the giant say after he ate Fiji?
- I want Samoa!
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
Why do witches not wear a regular hat?
Because there's no point in it.
How do you get rid of a witch’s hex?
Draw a hex-a-gone.
What do you call a dad joke about skeletons?
A skele-pun!
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
A vampire returned a mirror to my shop the other day. It wasn't faulty or anything, he just said he couldn't see himself using it.
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
What do you call a sleeping werewolf?
An unaware-wolf.
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