Where do vampire bats go to take out a loan?
To the blood bank.
If you see a ghost, you should always say, 'How do you boo?'
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
What do you call a werewolf that can’t decide what to wear?
A what-to-wear-wolf.
Why did the skeleton start the fight?
He had a bone to pick.
Please wait, bewitcha in a minute.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
Which soccer position does a Ghost play? Ghoulkeeper, of course.
Why are Ghosts so lonely? They have nobody to lean on.
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
Why did the witch stay in a hotel during her travels?
She heard they had great broom service.
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
Tne thing you won't catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
What’s a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
What’s a werewolve's favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas!
Where is the ghost going on holiday the next year? Lake Eerie.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with an ice cube?
You end up with frost bite.
How did the witch feel about using her broom to do housework?
She bristled at the suggestion!
Draw me like one of your French ghouls.
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
What does one vampire say to another before bed?
- I hope you have a fang-tastic day!
What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people?
Ghoul-Aid.
Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
What's the difference between an internet troll and a video game character?
Video game characters have lives.
Why was the book of incantations useless?
Because the author failed to do a spell-check.
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
What is a ghost’s favorite carnival ride? The rollerghoster.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
What does Bigfoot do to relax in his spare time?
He goes bird squatching!
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What do you call Bigfoot from Canada?
Sasquatch-ewan.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
What do ghouls eat for supper? Spooketi
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making monster puns.
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Absolutely terrified!
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
What do you call a dull ghost? Boo-ring!
What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?
- Bone Appetit!
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