Why do ghosts like elevators? They raise their spirits.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
Werewolves love their fast food.
What kind of writer did the ghost hire to write his biography? A ghostwriter, duh.
What do you do with a green ghoul?
Wait until it ripens!
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
What is a baby sasquatch's favorite toy?
His Yeti Bear!
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
What do you call a mythical being working in a smoothie store?
Mejuicea.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
What do you call a silly werewolf in Australia ?
A dingo-ling
What’s a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making monster puns.
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.
What did the skeleton say when he went riding on his motorcycle?
- I’m bone to be wild!
Live to tell the tail.
Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy?
Skeleton 2: I don't know. Why?
Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.
It's easier to prepare meals with this new cookware-wolf.
Why did the ad agency hire a hydra?
She knew how to wear many different hats.
Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What does a vampire need for making breakfast in the morning?
Pancake batter.
Why do vampires always dress so nice?
Because they’re so vein!
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?
He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
What does a werewolf say in church?
Howleluia!
Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!
What do you call a witch who drives badly?
A road hag.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
How do French skeletons say hello?
- Bone-jour!
Come witch me to the party.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a person who makes pots?
Harry Potter
What kind of birds do skeletons like?
Sea skulls.
What did the tired witch do?
She sat down for a spell.
One of my neighbours was stealing things from the local supermarket whilst sitting on the shoulders of two vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with an ice cube?
You end up with frost bite.
A vampire broke up with his girlfriend when she had a blood test. He told her she wasn't his type.
What is a werewolf’s favorite drink?
Moonshine.
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