Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...
Yeti does.
If I made werewolf puns, they would be howl-arious.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
What do you call a hairy beast that no longer exists?
A were-wolf!
What do you call a criminal vampire?
A fangster.
The best place to search for information about witches is wicca-pedia.
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids, then it behooves you to become a centaur.
How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways.
What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
What is a witch's favorite ride at the fair?
A scary-go-round.
I'm considering becoming a cinematografur.
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?
In control.
Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
A vampire broke up with his girlfriend when she had a blood test. He told her she wasn't his type.
When the ghost blew his nose, lots of boo-gers came out.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
Why did the hotel staff dress as witches for Halloween?
Because they provided broom service!
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
The skeleton couldn't keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
When a Minotaur considers himself an optimist is it that he sees his glass as half-bull?
It's easier to prepare meals with this new cookware-wolf.
How do you stop a werewolf attacking you?
Throw a stick and shout “Fetch.”
Why are witches good at farming?
Because they love occult-ivation.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
I was asked who my favorite vampire was. I said it was the Muppet from Sesame Street.
They said, he doesn't count!
I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"
What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
- Will you marrow me?
Who turns the lights off on Halloween?
The light's witch.
Come witch me to the party.
What does a monster wear when it rains?
His ghoul-oshes!
What's the ghoul's favorite sauce?
Grave-y.
What do you call a lineup of food with lots of garlicky dishes?
Buffet the Vampire Slayer!
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
What happens to witches who break the school rules?
They get ex-spelled.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
What time do werewolf Cowboys have a shootout?
High Moon!
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
Can’t take my eyes off of her brewtiful face.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
What did the woman say when she escaped Dracula’s clutches?
- Better luck necks time!
What’s a vampire’s favorite type of dog?
A blood hound.
What is a werewolf’s favorite drink?
Moonshine.
Who babysits young Bigfoots?
Sasq-watcher.
What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell?
A dead ringer.
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