Vampires can always Count on Dracula.
What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch.
Please stop making jokes about little people
How would you feel if a bunch of giants made jokes about you?
Why are witches good at farming?
Because they love occult-ivation.
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
Judging by the sounds, there’s an ogre staying in the hotel room above me.
Hopefully he shreks out tomorrow.
A pirate I know likes clothes made by an Italian fashion giant...
He dresses in Argh-mani suits.
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
What did the ghoul say to the clown on Halloween?
Tag, you’re it!
Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy?
Skeleton 2: I don't know. Why?
Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
What’s a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways.
How do you make a werewolf stew?
Keep him waiting until the full moon!
What do a witch and a candle have in common?
They're both wicked.
Why do Minotaurs make terrible detectives?
Because they hate to go on steak-outs!
What does a witch get if she crosses a black cat and a lemon?
A sour puss.
How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.
What do you get when you cross a goblin, a stop sign, and immortality?
An everlasting gobstopper!
Can’t take my eyes off of her brewtiful face.
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids, then it behooves you to become a centaur.
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!
Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!
Two ghosts were at a disco. One was having a fa-boo-lous time and the other wanted to boo-gie all night long!
What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore?
I’m smelting!
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
Terrier-fied!
What do you call a goblin with an injured leg?
A hobblin' goblin.
What is a skeleton’s favorite TV show?
Bone-anza!
The skeleton couldn't keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
Why do werewolves do well at school?
Because every time they’re asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer!
Why did the troll kiss the witch?
To keep her busy in love!
I met a French vampire who had an attention deficit problem. We called him Drac..ooh la la!
How does a vampire bat enter his house?
Through the bat flap.
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.
Whats the distant cousin of the werewolf?
The way over therewolf.
What do you call a bodybuilder skeleton?
A musculoskeleton.
You know why vampires can raise ghouls?
Because they are neck romancers!
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
Why did no one want to sit near Shrek?
He had terrible body ogre.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
Everyone loves my Halloween costume, but I still see room for improvement.
I guess I'm an ogre-achiever.
Go to BabaMail
