What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
I found out yesterday that the Mexican dish ghosts like the most is a boo-ritto.
A werewolf's favorite day of the week is Moonday.
You hear about the werewolf who majored in philosophy?
Now he's a whywolf
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
What do you call a witch that lives in the desert?
A sand-witch.
Did you hear the story of the little ghoul that grew up?
It became a headhunter!
How do ghouls like their meals?
Absolutely terrified!
The ghoul didn't get his letter on time because it got lost at the ghost office.
Tne thing you won't catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
Why was the skeleton scared of the baby?
Because he was an ankle biter.
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
What does the Ghost say when he sneezes? - Ach-ooooooooooooooooooooo!
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?
He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
Did you hear that the list of famous vampires had a startling omission?
They forgot to Count Dracula!
When the ghost family got in their car, the dad ghost told the kids to fasten their sheet-belts.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
What do you call half of a centaur?
A per-centaur.
If you see a ghost, you should always say, 'How do you boo?'
Live to tell the tail.
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
The mom to the naughty vampire said to him, “Watch your battitude, that is not how you talk to your elders.”
What is a witch's favorite makeup?
A ma-scare-a.
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids, then it behooves you to become a centaur.
Werewolves keep their spare things in a were-house.
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
Why did the monster call his werewolf “Frost”?
Because frost bites!
Where does a Portuguese skeleton live?
Lis-bone
I hear the Minotaur is really stubborn....
He's really bull-headed.
I asked a vampire if I could borrow some money. He told me he needed to go to the blood bank.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
What was the skeleton’s favorite Christmas candy?
Bone-bone.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
What do you call the last skeleton on earth?
The end-o skeleton.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
An Indonesian Giant stubbed his foot on a volcano...
- Did he Krakatoa?
Why did the troll kiss the witch?
To keep her busy in love!
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
Why did the kraken eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making monster puns.
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.
What do you call a skeleton who hangs out in coffee shops and listens to indie music?
A hip-ster.
What would you call an ogre who can write and recite poetry??
Shrekspeare.
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