The local vampire society is constantly growing. They are always looking for new blood.
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
What do you call a skeleton who hangs out in coffee shops and listens to indie music?
A hip-ster.
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
What does a werewolf say in church?
Howleluia!
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola
A man has been arrested in South Africa for shooting a giant chess set
What's wrong with those big game hunters?!
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
What do you call half of a centaur?
A per-centaur.
How do you talk to giants?
Use big words!
What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?
Brrrroooom, brrroooom.
What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and wearwolf.
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
Why do Ghosts make such good company? They are full of spirit.
What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
Why don’t werewolf make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
What do a witch and a candle have in common?
They're both wicked.
What does a baby vampire say before going to bed?
- Turn on the dark, I’m scared of the light.
What do you call a sleeping werewolf?
An unaware-wolf.
What game do Ghost children play? Hide and shriek!
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
A Ghost walks into a bar. No ones notices.
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
Did you hear about the witch who got plastic surgery?
She looked really good afterworts.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
I was asked who my favorite vampire was. I said it was the Muppet from Sesame Street.
They said, he doesn't count!
I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
He could feel it in his bones.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining. He just couldn't find a role he could sink his teeth into.
The bartender told the ghost they don't serve spirits after midnight.
What do ghouls drink?
Boos!
Sasquatch often gets mistaken for Bigfoot.
Yeti never complains.
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
Why did king Minos put Minotaur inside a labyrinth?
He wanted to amaze his wife.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
What do you call a werewolf with no legs?
Anything you like – he can’t chase you.
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
What is a skeleton’s favorite thing to do with their cell phone?
Take skelfies.
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
Titanic.
What is a ghoul’s favorite snack food?
Ghoul scout cookies!
What do you call it when the Bigfoot in charge makes pasta for all the others?
Alpha Yeti Spaghetti!
Did you hear that the list of famous vampires had a startling omission?
They forgot to Count Dracula!
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