What's a ghost's favorite makeup to wear? Mas-scare-a!
I asked a vampire if I could borrow some money. He told me he needed to go to the blood bank.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
Why did no one want to sit near Shrek?
He had terrible body ogre.
My wife and my friends are sick of my puns about The Abominable Snowman.
Yeti keep cracking them.
What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow?
A numb-skull.
Within the labyrinthine bureaucracy prowls the deadly Adminotaur.
When a big giant eel takes your hand for a meal...
...that’s a moray.
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? No haunting license.
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
I found out yesterday that the Mexican dish ghosts like the most is a boo-ritto.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist!
What’s a werewolf’s favorite nighttime story?
A hairy tail!
What is a ghoul’s favorite snack food?
Ghoul scout cookies!
A Ghost walks into a bar. No ones notices.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
What do you call a skeleton who goes to school but doesn’t do any work?
Lazy bones.
How should you greet a Ghost? - Long time, no see.
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
Judging by the sounds, there’s an ogre staying in the hotel room above me.
Hopefully he shreks out tomorrow.
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night?
That's the time to sweep.
What do ghosts use to keep their hair in place? Scare-spray!
What's the difference between an internet troll and a video game character?
Video game characters have lives.
What do you call a sketchy looking Bigfoot?
A Susquatch.
What would you call an ogre who can write and recite poetry??
Shrekspeare.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A pupsicle.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
Mommy, Mommy, what’s a werewolf?
Don’t worry about that honey and comb your face!
Panda ghosts love to eat bam-boo.
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
The vampire decided to eat a throat lozenge. It was the only thing he could think of to stop his coffin fit.
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
What’s a vampire’s favorite type of dog?
A blood hound.
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
What is the Abominable Snowman's favourite type of cup?
A yeti.
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