Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
How did the skeleton baker make bread?
He Knee-d it.
What do you call a skeleton who goes to school but doesn’t do any work?
Lazy bones.
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin.
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
Titanic.
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
A Ghost walks into a bar. No ones notices.
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
Witches are always wand-ering around…
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
Why did the troll kiss the witch?
To keep her busy in love!
In the night, a visitor came past my igloo. It was a yeti!
Not sure who left the other cooler, but thanks!
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
When ghosts visit the seaside, they always get an i-scream.
I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining. He just couldn't find a role he could sink his teeth into.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people?
Ghoul-Aid.
Why are ghouls so healthy?
They always eat fresh food!
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
The best place to search for information about witches is wicca-pedia.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
What is a ghoul’s favorite snack food?
Ghoul scout cookies!
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
What is a witch's favorite makeup?
A ma-scare-a.
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
What flavor of ice cream do vampires like best?
Vein-illa!
What is a ghost's favorite place to work?
Ghoul-gle.
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
Where is the ghost going on holiday the next year? Lake Eerie.
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
What do you call a hairy beast that’s lost?
A where-wolf!
A boy ghost thought a girl ghost was cute so he asked if she would be his ghoul-friend.
How does Bigfoot stay in shape?
It does Sas-squats.
Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
How do ghouls sign off a letter?
Best witches and worm regards.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with an ice cube?
You end up with frost bite.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.
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