Why do werewolves do well at school?
Because every time they’re asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer!
What do you call a witch who drives badly?
A road hag.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
What does the Yeti do when he is tired?
Himalaya down.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist? His house was repossessed.
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
Why did the witch stay in a hotel during her travels?
She heard they had great broom service.
Why didn’t the skull go to the dentist?
It was too-th late.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
How did the monster predict his future?
With the horror-scope!
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
What do skeletons complain about?
Aching bones.
I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining. He just couldn't find a role he could sink his teeth into.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
Why do vampires always dress so nice?
Because they’re so vein!
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play?
A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
What is a ghoul's favorite soup?
Ghoul-ash.
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?
He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
How much does an elephant skeleton weigh?
Skele-tons.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
What do a witch and a candle have in common?
They're both wicked.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
What’s a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? No haunting license.
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
Why do witches not wear a regular hat?
Because there's no point in it.
Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
Because vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough.
What sound do you hear when a Ghost explodes? kaBOOm!
How does a Ghost say good-bye? - I can’t wait to seance you again.
How do yetis stay regular?
They always know wendigo.
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
The witches sweep the sky.
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
What do you call a goblin brigand?
A robgoblin.
In the night, a visitor came past my igloo. It was a yeti!
Not sure who left the other cooler, but thanks!
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
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