What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
What is a baby sasquatch's favorite toy?
His Yeti Bear!
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive?
A big toe-truck.
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
Come witch me to the party.
What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
A hot dog.
Where do vampires eat their lunch?
At the casketeria.
Why did the mummy get a divorce?
His wife was a ghoul-digger who was just after his mummy.
What do you call a ghost who haunts fireplaces? A toastie ghostie.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
Stealthy minotaurs are always camooflauged.
How do werewolves stop a video?
They press the paws button.
How do old witches get good bargains?
They hag-gle.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
What do you call a goblin with an injured leg?
A hobblin' goblin.
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
What do you call a witch that lives in the desert?
A sand-witch.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
What do ghouls and goblins put on their nachos?
Ghost peppers.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
What did the ghoul say to the clown on Halloween?
Tag, you’re it!
Why did the skeleton put on a heavy coat?
He was chillled to the bone.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy?
Skeleton 2: I don't know. Why?
Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.
Why do vampires always dress so nice?
Because they’re so vein!
I'd advise against letting a vampire drive you home after a Halloween party. They never check their mirrors, it will drive you batty.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
What do you call a sketchy looking Bigfoot?
A Susquatch.
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man.
Why do ghosts like elevators? They raise their spirits.
Vampires love corny jokes and puns. I don't think they're funny, but it's probably to do with them being pun-dead.
What do you call a goblin brigand?
A robgoblin.
What did the woman say when she escaped Dracula’s clutches?
- Better luck necks time!
Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
She witch-hiked.
What's a ghost's favorite makeup to wear? Mas-scare-a!
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