What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
The skeleton didn't mind that everyone called him a bonehead.
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.
What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
Why was the ghoul so smart?
He always ate brain food!
I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining. He just couldn't find a role he could sink his teeth into.
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
A ghost's favourite pie flavour is boo-berry.
Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
To see the boogie man.
Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
What do skeletons hate the most about the wind?
Nothing. It goes right through them.
How did Poseidon greet the sea monster?
- Hey buddy, what's kraken?
I'd advise against letting a vampire drive you home after a Halloween party. They never check their mirrors, it will drive you batty.
THE KRAKEN: Yes, I'd like to renew my lease, please.
LANDLORD: Re-lease the Kraken!
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
Why do ghosts and demons get along so well? Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
What do you call a hairy monster that lives by a dam?
A weir-wolf.
What is a skeleton’s favorite TV show?
Bone-anza!
What do you call a little ghost with a torn sheet? A hole-y terror.
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
A Ghost walks into a bar. No ones notices.
Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
Because vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
I have no idea how so many people didn’t make it out the labyrinth.
It only took me a minotaur two.
Never believe minotaurs...
Half of everything they say is bull.
What do Ghosts say when they are impressed? - That was spectre-cular!
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
What's the ghoul's favorite sauce?
Grave-y.
What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on?
Bone china.
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
Don't get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai.
What is the collective noun for Ghosts? Team spirit.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
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