What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
Why do ghosts and demons get along so well? Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
Shrek isn't bad, but he's not that great either. I guess you could say he's medi-ogre.
Did you hear about the vampire who tortured his victims with music?
His Bach was worse than his bite.
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
When ghosts visit the seaside, they always get an i-scream.
A barber, a hairdresser, and Bigfoot walk into a bar...
You know what...I'm gonna shave this joke for another time.
Where are werewolf movies made?
Howl-lywood.
Why did the witch stay in a hotel during her travels?
She heard they had great broom service.
What did the woman say when she escaped Dracula’s clutches?
- Better luck necks time!
What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive?
A big toe-truck.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
- What’s Kraken?
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.
Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
Why did the skeleton go to acting classes?
He wanted tibia star.
Panda ghosts love to eat bam-boo.
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
What happens if you cross a hairdresser and a werewolf?
A creature with an all over perm!
What do you get when you cross a strict school teacher with a vampire?
Lots of blood tests.
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
Vampires love corny jokes and puns. I don't think they're funny, but it's probably to do with them being pun-dead.
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man.
What does a vampire do after taking a shower?
It stands on a bat mat.
What did the ghoul say to the clown on Halloween?
Tag, you’re it!
What did the witch get her cat for entertainment?
A cat-alog.
What do ghouls say to each other before heading out for Halloween?
May the ghouls be with you!
The bartender told the ghost they don't serve spirits after midnight.
Why did the witch's team lose the cricket game?
Their bats flew away.
There is a Giant Screwdriver attacking the city. Please seek shelter immediately. This is not a drill.
What did the ghost buy at the bar? Boos!
Why do Minotaurs make terrible detectives?
Because they hate to go on steak-outs!
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?
Because everyone was a goblin.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
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