What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
Why did the skeletons stay out of the forest?
Because sticks and stones will break their bones.
Why did the werewolf laugh while chewing on the skeleton?
He got to the funny bone.
A vampire broke up with his girlfriend when she had a blood test. He told her she wasn't his type.
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn't have one.
What is a ghost’s favorite carnival ride? The rollerghoster.
What does the Yeti do when he is tired?
Himalaya down.
The ghoul didn't get his letter on time because it got lost at the ghost office.
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
Why did the Ghosts win the soccer match? They scored more Ghouls.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
Why are vampire families always so close knit?
Because blood is thicker than water.
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
- What’s Kraken?
What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
Which building do vampires always visit when in New York?
The Vampire State Building.
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by.
The sphinx said to the man, "You may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "Imagination."
"Wrong," said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom."
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
What is it called when a witch only casts spells that rhyme?
Poetry in Potion.
Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong?
In the skelebin.
Werewolf Weather Furcast: Tomorrow we expect heavy showers.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
At the Italian restaurant, the ghoul ordered spook-ghetti for his main course.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
Why did the monster call his werewolf “Frost”?
Because frost bites!
A vampire returned a mirror to my shop the other day. It wasn't faulty or anything, he just said he couldn't see himself using it.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
My friend who's a vampire was feeling a bit low. I told him to drink B positive.
What did the doctor say to the skeleton who had a temperature of 103 degrees?
- Looks like you are running a femur.
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
You hear about the werewolf who majored in philosophy?
Now he's a whywolf
A monster terrorized a village.
He kept doing it ogre and ogre again...
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
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