Why are ghouls so healthy?
They always eat fresh food!
What do you call a silly werewolf in Australia ?
A dingo-ling
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
What did one witch's cat say to the other?
You look familiar.
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
A ghost's favourite pie flavour is boo-berry.
Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
How do you stop a werewolf attacking you?
Throw a stick and shout “Fetch.”
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
What kind of writer did the ghost hire to write his biography? A ghostwriter, duh.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
How do yetis stay regular?
They always know wendigo.
Stealthy minotaurs are always camooflauged.
Finding Bigfoot will be no small feat.
Why do trolls live under bridges?
To troll goats!
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
Why do werewolves howl at the moon?
Because no one else will do it for them!
Who babysits young Bigfoots?
Sasq-watcher.
Why did the skeleton have to testify in court?
Because he was a body of evidence.
The best place for a ghost to go on holiday is The Dead Sea.
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.
What do a witch and a candle have in common?
They're both wicked.
When they want to relax, ghosts have a boo-ble bath.
How do werewolves stop a video?
They press the paws button.
What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?
A swing and a myth.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.
Why do ghosts like elevators? They raise their spirits.
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
What sound do you hear when a Ghost explodes? kaBOOm!
What’s a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on?
Bone china.
What did the tired witch do?
She sat down for a spell.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of a giant’s finger.
Where does a Portuguese skeleton live?
Lis-bone
Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...
Yeti does.
What is a ghost's favorite place to work?
Ghoul-gle.
Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
What kind of fish do skeletons like to eat?
Carpals.
What is a skeleton’s favorite type of film to watch?
A spine-tingler.
What do you call the process of naming the various species of dwarves, faeries, trolls, etc?
Binomial gnomenlature.
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