Why didn’t the skull go to the dentist?
It was too-th late.
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong?
In the skelebin.
Why did the skeleton have a broken heart?
His Boney lay over the ocean.
What do you call a witch that lives in the desert?
A sand-witch.
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
Vampires can always Count on Dracula.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention.
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
Draw me like one of your French ghouls.
Come witch me to the party.
How does a werewolf make bechamel sauce?
They start with a rooooooooouuuuuuuux.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
How do yetis stay regular?
They always know wendigo.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
Dracula really doesn't have any other vampire friends. It's because he's a total pain in the neck.
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
What advice do ghosts give their children? Only spook when spoken to.
Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Two skeletons are talking in a bar.
Skeleton 1: "Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?"
Skeleton 2: “Of corpse I am.”
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
Shrek isn't bad, but he's not that great either. I guess you could say he's medi-ogre.
What is a ghost's favorite place to work?
Ghoul-gle.
What do you get when you cross a strict school teacher with a vampire?
Lots of blood tests.
Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...
Yeti does.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
I'd advise against letting a vampire drive you home after a Halloween party. They never check their mirrors, it will drive you batty.
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
What do you call a goblin brigand?
A robgoblin.
What position does a ghoul play on the soccer team?
Ghoulie!
What do you call a lineup of food with lots of garlicky dishes?
Buffet the Vampire Slayer!
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.
Don't get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
What do you call the story of a poor witch that just became a millionaire?
Rags to witches story.
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn’t in it.
What's a ghost's favorite makeup to wear? Mas-scare-a!
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
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