What do ghouls and goblins put on their nachos?
Ghost peppers.
What's a ghost's favorite makeup to wear? Mas-scare-a!
A werewolf's favorite day of the week is Moonday.
How much does an elephant skeleton weigh?
Skele-tons.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
Vampires are too easy to play jokes on. Suckers.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
What's a goblins favorite dinner?
Ghoulash.
What do you call half of a centaur?
A per-centaur.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
What kind of birds do skeletons like?
Sea skulls.
When the ghost family got in their car, the dad ghost told the kids to fasten their sheet-belts.
What does a vampire do after taking a shower?
It stands on a bat mat.
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
What's the Kraken gonna give you that'll make you laugh uncontrollably?
Ten Tickles!
What’s a vampire bat’s favorite food?
I-scream!
Why was the skeleton scared of the baby?
Because he was an ankle biter.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
What is a ghost’s favorite carnival ride? The rollerghoster.
Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.
What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
- Will you marrow me?
How does Bigfoot stay in shape?
It does Sas-squats.
What do you call a ghost who haunts fireplaces? A toastie ghostie.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
Why was the book of incantations useless?
Because the author failed to do a spell-check.
All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.
Why do Ghosts make such good company? They are full of spirit.
What do you call the last skeleton on earth?
The end-o skeleton.
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!
What advice do ghosts give their children? Only spook when spoken to.
When a Minotaur considers himself an optimist is it that he sees his glass as half-bull?
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
What do you call a hairy beast that no longer exists?
A were-wolf!
A vampire broke up with his girlfriend when she had a blood test. He told her she wasn't his type.
What did daddy ghoul say to his youngest son?
Stop ghouling around!
Why don’t vampires use the front door?
Because they use the bat flap instead.
Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?
Because everyone was a goblin.
What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
Where does Sasquatch store his stuff while he's out on a hike?
In a big footlocker.
Witches are always wand-ering around…
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