You have to hunt down a troll and kill it with a gun. After you find it, you accidently lose sight of it. In rage, you fire your gun. The bullets hit the troll and it dies.
What do you tell the person who sent you on the quest?
- I lost gun-trol.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids, then it behooves you to become a centaur.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
Panda ghosts love to eat bam-boo.
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
I don't know what Dracula's address is, but I'm pretty sure he lives on a dead end street.
What do you call a Yeti Gardener?
A hairy potter.
What do you get if you cross a witch with a werewolf?
A mad dog that chases airplanes!
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell?
A dead ringer.
What do ghouls say to each other before heading out for Halloween?
May the ghouls be with you!
What do you call a silly werewolf in Australia ?
A dingo-ling
What kind of tests are witches given in school?
Hex-aminations.
Why do trolls live under bridges?
To troll goats!
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
Why did the poor werewolf chase his own tail?
He was trying to make ends meet.
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
How do you talk to giants?
Use big words!
When the ghost family got in their car, the dad ghost told the kids to fasten their sheet-belts.
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
Please stop making jokes about little people
How would you feel if a bunch of giants made jokes about you?
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
What do you call a hairy beast that no longer exists?
A were-wolf!
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese.
What sound does it make when an ogre eats a witch for breakfast?
Snap cackle n' pop
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.
I found out yesterday that the Mexican dish ghosts like the most is a boo-ritto.
What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
What's a goblins favorite dinner?
Ghoulash.
How do werewolves stop a video?
They press the paws button.
Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
To have his ghoul bladder removed.
How do you stop an Internet troll?
Seize their memes of production.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
What type of art do skeletons like?
Skulltures!
What did Dracula say to the priest who visited his castle?
Don’t you ever cross me!
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
Where did the ghost go on holiday? The Boohamas.
What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?
Brrrroooom, brrroooom.
Within the labyrinthine bureaucracy prowls the deadly Adminotaur.
What do witches' cats like to have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
Stealthy minotaurs are always camooflauged.
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