Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
What do ghouls say to each other before heading out for Halloween?
May the ghouls be with you!
All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
College-age vampires only ever shop in one place - Forever 21.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
How do ghosts find out their future? They read their horror-scopes.
How should you greet a Ghost? - Long time, no see.
How did the witch feel about using her broom to do housework?
She bristled at the suggestion!
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
What is a witch's favorite ride at the fair?
A scary-go-round.
What did the giant say to Jack when he caught him sneaking around his castle?
"Have you bean stalking me?"
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
What do you call a little ghost with a torn sheet? A hole-y terror.
What kind of werewolf can track down flowers ?
A bud hound
What problem do you encounter with twin witches?
You can never tell which is witch.
How did the skeletons make s’mores when they went camping?
They made them on the bone-fire.
Why did the monster call his werewolf “Frost”?
Because frost bites!
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What did the ghoul say to the clown on Halloween?
Tag, you’re it!
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play?
A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.
The mom to the naughty vampire said to him, “Watch your battitude, that is not how you talk to your elders.”
Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn’t in it.
Why did king Minos put Minotaur inside a labyrinth?
He wanted to amaze his wife.
The ghoul didn't get his letter on time because it got lost at the ghost office.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
Did you hear about the ghoul who had eight arms?
He was very handy!
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
Within the labyrinthine bureaucracy prowls the deadly Adminotaur.
What did one witch's cat say to the other?
You look familiar.
What is a werewolf’s favorite tree?
A lu-pine.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
Why was the skeleton scared of the baby?
Because he was an ankle biter.
A vampire returned a mirror to my shop the other day. It wasn't faulty or anything, he just said he couldn't see himself using it.
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
The skeleton was scared of going skiing, he didn’t want to wrist it.
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!
What is a ghost’s favorite carnival ride? The rollerghoster.
What do ghouls and goblins put on their nachos?
Ghost peppers.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
What do you call a hairy monster that lives by a dam?
A weir-wolf.
What do you call a lineup of food with lots of garlicky dishes?
Buffet the Vampire Slayer!
Go to BabaMail
