What’s a skeleton’s second favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone.
Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
Where do werewolves store their things?
In a were-house.
Why did the Ghost turn down the job? He could not see himself doing it.
I found out yesterday that the Mexican dish ghosts like the most is a boo-ritto.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese.
Did you hear that the police arrested a pair of vampires?
They got them on two Counts of robbing a blood bank!
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
He could feel it in his bones.
What’s a werewolve's favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas!
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
Did you hear about the ghoul who had eight arms?
He was very handy!
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What does the iron-deficient giant say?
- Fi fo fum.
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
A man has been arrested in South Africa for shooting a giant chess set
What's wrong with those big game hunters?!
Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
What did the ghoul say to the clown on Halloween?
Tag, you’re it!
Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
Because vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough.
How do Yetis tell the time?
With a sasq-watch.
What do you call a dull ghost? Boo-ring!
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
Where do vampire bats go to take out a loan?
To the blood bank.
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
What do you call a skeleton who hangs out in coffee shops and listens to indie music?
A hip-ster.
What advice do ghosts give their children? Only spook when spoken to.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What do you call a little ghost with a torn sheet? A hole-y terror.
Bigfoot saw me today
I bet nobody believes him.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
What did the tired witch do?
She sat down for a spell.
What do you call a bodybuilder skeleton?
A musculoskeleton.
Who did the ghost take to prom? His ghoulfriend.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Quackula.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
Live to tell the tail.
Why is the giant afraid of Jack?
Because Jack's beanstalking him.
My wife and my friends are sick of my puns about The Abominable Snowman.
Yeti keep cracking them.
What do you call a mythical being working in a smoothie store?
Mejuicea.
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
Why did the Ghosts win the soccer match? They scored more Ghouls.
What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?
He got ticks.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
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