Why did the skeletons form a rock band?
They wanted to “Rattle them bones”!
Who turns the lights off on Halloween?
The light's witch.
What flavor of ice cream do vampires like best?
Vein-illa!
The mom to the naughty vampire said to him, “Watch your battitude, that is not how you talk to your elders.”
When the ghost family got in their car, the dad ghost told the kids to fasten their sheet-belts.
What is it called when a witch only casts spells that rhyme?
Poetry in Potion.
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
I’ve found that dressing up like this has truly been an en-witching experience.
Who's a witch's favorite movie director?
Steven Spellberg.
What do you call a dad joke about skeletons?
A skele-pun!
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
What’s a werewolve's favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas!
Why are witches good at farming?
Because they love occult-ivation.
Why did the werewolf need to talk with the skeleton?
He had a bone to pick with him.
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
What's a goblins favorite dinner?
Ghoulash.
The vampires were in a mood, so I thought I'd do something to cheer them up. They were over the moon that I re-vamped their castle.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton?
- You’re dead to me.
How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways.
What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell?
A dead ringer.
What sign was posted in the witches' parking lot?
Violators will be toad.
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.
Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale? He’s a bargain haunter.
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
What did Dracula say to the priest who visited his castle?
Don’t you ever cross me!
What is a skeleton’s favorite TV show?
Bone-anza!
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
What does goblin's blood consist of?
Hemogoblin.
What's a ghost's favorite makeup to wear? Mas-scare-a!
Why do witches not wear a regular hat?
Because there's no point in it.
Judging by the sounds, there’s an ogre staying in the hotel room above me.
Hopefully he shreks out tomorrow.
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
What kind of hats does the skeleton baseball league wear?
Skullcaps.
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.
What do you call a witch who drives badly?
A road hag.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
What is a witch's favorite makeup?
A ma-scare-a.
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
Terrier-fied!
On reflection, vampires aren't actually that scary.
What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
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