What's a ghost's favorite makeup to wear? Mas-scare-a!
What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?
A swing and a myth.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
How does a Ghost say good-bye? - I can’t wait to seance you again.
Werewolves love their fast food.
Why do ghosts like elevators? They raise their spirits.
What did one sea monster say to the other sea monster when they started their new jobs as sewer inspectors?
- It’s going to be a Nessie job, but let’s get Kraken!
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
Two ghosts were at a disco. One was having a fa-boo-lous time and the other wanted to boo-gie all night long!
Why did the witch stay in a hotel during her travels?
She heard they had great broom service.
Why did the ghoul eat a light bulb?
Because it wanted a light snack!
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
Why don’t vampires use the front door?
Because they use the bat flap instead.
There is a Giant Screwdriver attacking the city. Please seek shelter immediately. This is not a drill.
What do you call a fast broomstick?
A vroom-stick.
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
Why does Bigfoot only leave footprints behind?
Sasquatch doesn't litter in the great outdoors.
Dracula is vegan, he can't take any risks. One stake could kill him.
Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night?
That's the time to sweep.
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
Why did the mommy and daddy werewolves call their son “Camera”?
Because he was always snapping at things!
Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong?
In the skelebin.
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
Why are vampire families always so close knit?
Because blood is thicker than water.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
The skeleton didn't mind that everyone called him a bonehead.
Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
Why couldn't the little witch read her spellbook?
It was written in curse-ive.
What do you call a hairy monster that lives by a dam?
A weir-wolf.
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Quackula.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
Did you hear the story of the little ghoul that grew up?
It became a headhunter!
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
I met a French vampire who had an attention deficit problem. We called him Drac..ooh la la!
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
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