What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
What do you call the story of a poor witch that just became a millionaire?
Rags to witches story.
Why did king Minos put Minotaur inside a labyrinth?
He wanted to amaze his wife.
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
What does a werewolf say in church?
Howleluia!
How do you get rid of a witch’s hex?
Draw a hex-a-gone.
Vampires love corny jokes and puns. I don't think they're funny, but it's probably to do with them being pun-dead.
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!
Why did the monster call his werewolf “Frost”?
Because frost bites!
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
What do ghouls love to eat?
Fettuccini Afraid-o!
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese.
What do you call a witch that lives in the desert?
A sand-witch.
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
My friend who's a vampire was feeling a bit low. I told him to drink B positive.
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
A Ghost walks into a bar. No ones notices.
What do you call a goblin with an injured leg?
A hobblin' goblin.
Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?
He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
A ghost's favourite pie flavour is boo-berry.
Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
To see the boogie man.
Why did the skeleton go to acting classes?
He wanted tibia star.
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!
Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?
Because everyone was a goblin.
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
How did the archeologists know the skeletons were real?
They were bone-afide.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
Werewolf Weather Furcast: Tomorrow we expect heavy showers.
The best place to search for information about witches is wicca-pedia.
Where do werewolves store their things?
In a were-house.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.
What did the woman say when she escaped Dracula’s clutches?
- Better luck necks time!
What does one vampire say to another before bed?
- I hope you have a fang-tastic day!
Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.
What is a witch's favorite makeup?
A ma-scare-a.
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
The skeleton couldn't keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
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