Why do skeletons hate the cold?
It sends chills up their spine.
What do you call a werewolf with no legs?
Anything you like – he can’t chase you.
Why did the skeletons form a rock band?
They wanted to “Rattle them bones”!
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
She witch-hiked.
Dracula is vegan, he can't take any risks. One stake could kill him.
Why did the skeletons stay out of the forest?
Because sticks and stones will break their bones.
Why don’t werewolf make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
Why did the witch's cat scratch her?
Because he was in a bad mewd.
What do you call a skeleton who hangs out in coffee shops and listens to indie music?
A hip-ster.
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
What did daddy ghoul say to his youngest son?
Stop ghouling around!
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
How does a vampire bat enter his house?
Through the bat flap.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
The vampire decided to eat a throat lozenge. It was the only thing he could think of to stop his coffin fit.
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
Why is the giant afraid of Jack?
Because Jack's beanstalking him.
What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play?
A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
What flavor of ice cream do vampires like best?
Vein-illa!
Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
To have his ghoul bladder removed.
What cheese do vampires eat?
Munster.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by.
The sphinx said to the man, "You may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "Imagination."
"Wrong," said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom."
The best place for a ghost to go on holiday is The Dead Sea.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
Because he had a bone to pick.
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
What did mother werewolf say to the naughty boy werewolf?
- We're werewolves, not swear-wolves.
What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist? His house was repossessed.
What’s a vampire’s favorite type of dog?
A blood hound.
Why are Ghosts so lonely? They have nobody to lean on.
How do Yetis tell the time?
With a sasq-watch.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
- What’s Kraken?
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
What do you call the process of naming the various species of dwarves, faeries, trolls, etc?
Binomial gnomenlature.
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
What is a ghoul's favorite soup?
Ghoul-ash.
Why was the book of incantations useless?
Because the author failed to do a spell-check.
What kind of werewolf can track down flowers ?
A bud hound
What is the fear of giants called?
Fee-fi-phobia
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
What kind of pet fish did the skeleton have?
A bonefish.
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