Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
What you call the Ghost of a Chicken? Poultry-geist.
What did one witch's cat say to the other?
You look familiar.
How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick?
Voodoo like to ride with me?
What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
Why are Ghosts in such good shape? Plenty of exorcise and a good die-t.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
Have you heard about the Italian Bigfoot?
The spag-yeti.
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
THE KRAKEN: Yes, I'd like to renew my lease, please.
LANDLORD: Re-lease the Kraken!
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
These sea monster jokes are so funny.
They had me kraken!
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
What kind of tests are witches given in school?
Hex-aminations.
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
What do you call a Yeti Gardener?
A hairy potter.
What position does a ghoul play on the soccer team?
Ghoulie!
A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.
Why did the mommy and daddy werewolves call their son “Camera”?
Because he was always snapping at things!
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
Live to tell the tail.
What is a favorite game for ghouls?
Chase!
What did Dracula say to the priest who visited his castle?
Don’t you ever cross me!
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
Because he had a bone to pick.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a person who makes pots?
Harry Potter
What did the Japanese skeleton put in his sushi?
Bone-ito flakes.
What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
Please stop making jokes about little people
How would you feel if a bunch of giants made jokes about you?
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
What is a witch's favorite makeup?
A ma-scare-a.
Why are Minotaurs always broke?
Because their loan sharks are always milking them dry!
Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
They couldn’t pin anything on him.
What's the similarity between a sailor and a thief?
Both have a phobia for sirens.
What do a witch and a candle have in common?
They're both wicked.
What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
- Will you marrow me?
Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
What do you call a necromancer werewolf?
A dog with a bone.
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