Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
Witch you were here.
I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining. He just couldn't find a role he could sink his teeth into.
What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free!
Pro Bone-O.
Why do skeletons hate the cold?
It sends chills up their spine.
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore?
I’m smelting!
What do you call a criminal vampire?
A fangster.
What is a ghost's favorite place to work?
Ghoul-gle.
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
What do you get if you cross a witch with a werewolf?
A mad dog that chases airplanes!
Why did the ad agency hire a hydra?
She knew how to wear many different hats.
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
What’s a skeleton’s second favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone.
What’s a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
What happens to witches who break the school rules?
They get ex-spelled.
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale? He’s a bargain haunter.
Why did the skeletons form a rock band?
They wanted to “Rattle them bones”!
What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?
A swing and a myth.
What do Krakens eat?
Fish and ships.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
He could feel it in his bones.
I’ve found that dressing up like this has truly been an en-witching experience.
Where do werewolves store their things?
In a were-house.
Why do werewolves do well at school?
Because every time they’re asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer!
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
Why do werewolves howl at the moon?
Because no one else will do it for them!
Why did the skeleton start the fight?
He had a bone to pick.
What's the Kraken gonna give you that'll make you laugh uncontrollably?
Ten Tickles!
Why did the vampire refuse to eat his eggs?
Because they were sunny side up!
What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play?
A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.
Where does Sasquatch store his stuff while he's out on a hike?
In a big footlocker.
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!
The mom to the naughty vampire said to him, “Watch your battitude, that is not how you talk to your elders.”
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
They couldn’t pin anything on him.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids, then it behooves you to become a centaur.
What is a Ghost’s favourite treat? Ice-scream floats.
How much does an elephant skeleton weigh?
Skele-tons.
Vampires make awful businessmen. They just can't deal with the stakeholders.
What’s a Spanish vampire’s favorite dance?
The Fang-dango.
How did the skeletons make s’mores when they went camping?
They made them on the bone-fire.
Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
On reflection, vampires aren't actually that scary.
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