Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
Because vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough.
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
There is a Giant Screwdriver attacking the city. Please seek shelter immediately. This is not a drill.
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
Where is the Ghost’s bedroom located? Down the Hall-oween.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
Vampires love corny jokes and puns. I don't think they're funny, but it's probably to do with them being pun-dead.
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called the SWAT team.
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on?
Bone china.
Last night, like every night, I dreamt I was half horse, half man.
My shrink says I'm just being self centaured.
What do you get if you cross a witch with a werewolf?
A mad dog that chases airplanes!
What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
Did you see that movie about King Kong, the giant ape?
The plot was pretty bananas.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
Why did the troll kiss the witch?
To keep her busy in love!
The vampire decided to eat a throat lozenge. It was the only thing he could think of to stop his coffin fit.
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
What cheese do vampires eat?
Munster.
What’s a skeleton’s second favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone.
When ghosts visit the seaside, they always get an i-scream.
What kind of writer did the ghost hire to write his biography? A ghostwriter, duh.
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
He could feel it in his bones.
How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
I'd advise against letting a vampire drive you home after a Halloween party. They never check their mirrors, it will drive you batty.
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
What do you call the process of naming the various species of dwarves, faeries, trolls, etc?
Binomial gnomenlature.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
Vampires are too easy to play jokes on. Suckers.
Who is the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!
Come witch me to the party.
What do you call it when witches are optimistic about the future?
Witchful thinking.
A vampire broke up with his girlfriend when she had a blood test. He told her she wasn't his type.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a person who makes pots?
Harry Potter
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
Why are ghouls so healthy?
They always eat fresh food!
How does Big Foot find his way through the deepest darkest forests?
He just follows the big footpath!
Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
They couldn’t pin anything on him.
What a is ghoul’s favorite pet?
Ghoulfish!
Werewolves keep their spare things in a were-house.
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