What do you get when you cross a strict school teacher with a vampire?
Lots of blood tests.
How do you stop an Internet troll?
Seize their memes of production.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
Why did the troll go running?
To keep up with you!
Werewolves keep their spare things in a were-house.
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night?
That's the time to sweep.
What’s a skeleton’s second favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone.
When they want to relax, ghosts have a boo-ble bath.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
My wife and my friends are sick of my puns about The Abominable Snowman.
Yeti keep cracking them.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese.
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
What do you call a bodybuilder skeleton?
A musculoskeleton.
How do French skeletons say hello?
- Bone-jour!
Werewolves love similes and metafurs.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
How does Bigfoot clear his sinuses?
With a yeti pot.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with an ice cube?
You end up with frost bite.
What is it called when a witch only casts spells that rhyme?
Poetry in Potion.
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
The witches sweep the sky.
What do you call a criminal vampire?
A fangster.
What does a polite vampire say to its victim?
- Fang you very much.
The bartender told the ghost they don't serve spirits after midnight.
What did the giant say after he ate Fiji?
- I want Samoa!
What’s a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
How does a werewolf make bechamel sauce?
They start with a rooooooooouuuuuuuux.
Why did the ghoul become green?
It was sick of eating brains!
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
I’ve found that dressing up like this has truly been an en-witching experience.
What is a Ghost’s favourite treat? Ice-scream floats.
What does a witch get if she crosses a black cat and a lemon?
A sour puss.
What did the ghoul say to the clown on Halloween?
Tag, you’re it!
What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?
Brrrroooom, brrroooom.
What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
Where did the ghost go on holiday? The Boohamas.
An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
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